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Winning Your Ex Back When He Has a New Girlfriend

por Randal Pastor (2020-08-01)

Getting your ex boyfriend back is little more than a series of steps in the right direction. By walking just the right path and doing just the right things, you can rekindle the relationship you once had and make your ex need you back in his life again.

Winning him back from someone else? That path is no harder - only longer. There are a few additional steps involved, but a lot more heartache on your part. You'll need to gain serious control over your emotional state, and reign yourself in from committing any of the more blatant mistakes made during this crucial time.

Your Ex Starts Dating Someone Else - Initial Reactions

Watching your ex boyfriend holding another girl's hand... it's one of the hardest things in the world. You'll want to yell, scream, push her away - by now you have a thousand reasons why you and your ex should still be together, and you'll want to tell him every single one of them. You'll look for ways to sabotage his new relationship as best you can, and you'll scrutinize that romance for any signs of weakness. When your ex boyfriend has a new girlfriend, you might also be ready to swoop in and scoop him back up at the very first signs of trouble. After all, he was yours to begin with.

With that all said, getting involved in your ex's new relationship is one of the worst things you can do right now. After such a breakup, your boyfriend will already be wary of any contact you make with him. He knows you're still interested, and that your intentions are most likely to win him back. And now that he's dating some other girl? Your intentions will be even more self-serving.

In every case, your ex will keep you as far away from his budding new romance as possible. He wants to protect his new love interest from you, and from any bad feelings you might have since the break. Anger, bitterness, even rage... these emotions can often accompany an unwanted breakup. Your ex doesn't want those things spilling over into his new relationship, and so he'll avoid you even more than he would during a normal split.

Presenting yourself now only exposes your weakness. You might be mad that your boyfriend was able to move on from you so quickly, but telling him so only makes you seem needy and desperate. You cannot confront your ex on his new girlfriend, and you certainly can't confront her. You'll only come off as the crazy jilted ex-lover, when right now you should be maintaining as cool a demeanor as possible. In learning how to get you ex boyfriend back, you must learn control.

Your best bet right now is to let go. Don't see your relationship as a sinking ship that frantically needs to be saved, but rather one that's not worth trying to patch up. Instead, look to the future... one where you'll build a whole new relationship with your ex boyfriend. By recreating the magic of your original romance you'll bring back those same old sparks, and the two of you can move forward with a clean slate and a solid new foundation.

Of course, all of that can't happen until after your ex's new romance ends. And if he just started dating this girl very soon after breaking up with you? Odds are very good that he's deeply involved in nothing more than a rebound relationship. He's filling the void created by losing you with someone else: someone he'll most likely compare to you physically, emotionally, and mentally. Yet no matter how good this girl looks or seems to him right now, there's one truth your ex boyfriend will never be able to deny: His new girlfriend? She's just not you.

Why Your Ex Boyfriend Is Still Emotionally Attached To You

Understand something right off the bat: you and your ex boyfriend shared time. You did fun things, went cool places, and created lasting memories together over the course of your romance. And his new girlfriend? She's done none of that yet. There's no past history to fall back on, and no memories to cherish. Right now, your ex's new relationship is hollow and shallow. He's biding his time, hoping to build new memories while trying to forget old ones.

Because your ex moved on so quickly, he never had the chance to get over you. The feelings he always had for you are still there, but because he jumped right into a rebound relationship your ex never got to emotionally process them. This is VERY good news if you're trying to get your boyfriend back, because you can easily use those emotional bonds to win him back from his new girlfriend. All you need to do is learn the right methods and techniques for drawing out those hidden feelings.

When your ex first starts seeing another girl, you have a distinct advantage. She may have his arm right now, but you still have his heart. To get him back, you first need to avoid blowing it. You need to make your ex boyfriend miss you, and especially miss the times you shared with him. When he starts reminiscing about what he had with you, he'll start thinking about you again. And then the first major fight he has with his new girlfriend? This will have him turning back in your direction, to see exactly where you are.

Speeding Up The Process of Getting Your Ex Back

This is where most women go wrong, especially when their ex is dating someone else. They think that by staying single, staying visible, and making themselves fully available for an ex boyfriend? He'll immediately see them as a happy alternative once the rebound relationship sputters out. These women believe that by leaving the door to the relationship as wide open as possible, their ex will use it as an escape route from his newly failed romance.

In retrospect however, exactly the opposite is true. The more you reassure your ex boyfriend that he can come back at any time? The longer he's going to date this new girl. Your ex will feel comfortable in knowing he has a nice strong safety net to fall back on, and so he'll give this new romance every chance he can. Whenever there's trouble he'll try to work through it, knowing that if it ultimately fails he always has you to fall back on.

Instead of going this route, you need to do the exact opposite. When your ex looks back to see what you're up to, you should be long gone and well out of sight. By withdrawing as quickly and efficiently as you can, you're now creating a void instead of a safety net. Your ex boyfriend still feels nostalgia when he thinks about you, but now that nostalgia is tempered by regret... and also by fear, because he's no longer sure he can get you back.

When your ex thinks you might be gone, ???????? he'll seriously re-evaluate his new relationship. He has to decide then and there if he really wants to make things work with this girl. By removing yourself from his life you're forcing his hand: he no longer has the warm, cushy feeling of knowing he can get you back. For the first time since he broke up with you, your exboyfriend starts feeling as if he might lose you for good.

Other Ways of Winning Your Ex Back From His New Girlfriend

After withdrawing, you'll eventually need to take steps in your ex boyfriend's direction. As new rebound relationship plays out, you should be looking for any signs of weakness. By being ready to exploit those signs when you see them, you'll know exactly when to take action. And by 'being there' for him through times of trouble in his new relationship, you can begin forging an alliance with your ex boyfriend that will ultimately lead to dating him again.

Want to get your ex back from someone else? Don't leave it to chance. This isn't a normal situation, and it doesn't require a normal solution. By arming yourself with the full, step by step process of getting him back, you put yourself in position for success long before your ex's rebound romance blows up in his face. From there, it's a lot easier to put him back in your arms.